I was born in Singapore, a wealthy, flourishing country in Southeast Asia, in which drug offenses can land a death sentence through long slopes. People are often surprised when I say that my job is to support people while stumbling on Magic mushrooms in Portland.
As a 17-year-old, I went to the high school in Perth, Australia, where I celebrated too hard. I enjoyed experimenting with psychedelics, but one evening that cooled with the wrong crowd, I took an acidity that was not entirely correct (or maybe it was that it was not entirely right).
Things got out of control and I ended up on a terrible journey that would not end. There were no kaleidoscopy fractals, no cool colors. I was convinced that criminal upper owners would silence me, or police officers would arrest me. Everything felt terrible and real.
Hardly able to join a sentence, I called my father in Singapore. He turned to a friend of the family in Perth, who bought my plane ticket and dropped me at the airport. I couldn't pack my suitcase, so I got on the flight with slippers and the shorts and the T-shirt that I wore for the bed. Once at home, I looked for psychiatric help because the horror of this trip remained.
A quarter of a century later, when I dealt with the doldrums of Midlife, I undertook my first therapeutic psilocybin trip with eye mask and headphones in Portland. It was scary and intoxicating. A day later I felt unfounded and thought I don't think I'll do that again.
But surprise, I have done more than a dozen psilocybin trips since then. See, the magic does not happen immediately, but in the weeks, months and years after an experience. Over time, I noticed that I had dealt with the challenges to be a little better. I was able to lead life with a little more resilience, grace and strength.
I rewrite this result of professional preparation, relief and integration, which I received from my moderator, who was also a licensed consultant. The comparison of my bad journey with 17 with my middle life experience showed me how important it is to have the right setting and the right set and attitude, ingredients that make a positive experience much more likely.
I learned so much from this structured encounter with PSILocybin that I registered for a psilocybin moderator course with Fluence in 2022. I graduated in November 2023 and since then supported more than 175 people on therapeutic mushroom trips in service centers in the city.
Before legalization, a wonderful community of underground moderators in Oregon was at home, and I have friends who are part of it. When I started working within the legal system, some of these friends sparked the commercialization of psychedelic work on how the legalization movement was only another tentacle of capitalism. They did not like the idea of the state regulatory and service centers because they believed that it was not “in the spirit of the mushroom” that it was “an affront against psilocybins sacred, indigenous roots.
When I heard all of this, I felt a little embarrassed above ground. But my work made it clear to me that one was no better than the other. It is a case of different strokes for different people.
I come from Singapore and understand how a great obstacle can be a great obstacle that people can prevent people from experiencing the advantages of psychedelics. For example, people in the medical profession and former military staff can see the advantages of psilocybin, but they may never be considered to do this illegally. The same applies to people who have to deal with religious conditioning.
Licessed moderators and service centers give such groups – or everyone who wants more security and accountability – the opportunity to work with psychedelics without paranoia.
In my experience, unregulated meetings can include shamanic or new age elements. This can be helpful and uplifting, but it is not everyone's cup (mushroom) tea. In a clinical environment, moderators do their best so as not to be direct. Experience is guided by the convictions of the client, so that atheists can be as comfortable as those who consider themselves spiritual.
Maybe because of my early experience with LSD or maybe because I am Singapore, I decided to work in Oregon's legal framework. Others don't choose. As a psychedelic worker, I think that both approaches are valid as long as guides know where to go and what to do when they get lost, and both parties approach the experience with humility, respect and an open heart.
The reporting on Willamette Week has concrete effects that change laws, force measures by the heads of state and government and drive at risk of endangered politicians from the public office.
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